So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
