AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
