Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
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What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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