And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize