Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize