i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
