Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
