Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
