why didn't you poke me back
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
