i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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