He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
