Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
