Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He passed out mid-signature
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
