ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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