I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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