We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
