my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
