i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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