Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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