I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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