I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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