I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
porn star boner night. come get it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize