Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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