5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
