This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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