it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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