2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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