My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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