The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.