i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis