Since when is my name a synonym for head?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.