I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...