i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
