Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.