I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize