Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I wish my penis had an off switch
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
