Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
