I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
