Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
