i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
so much tequila, so little girl.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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