to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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