he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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