It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
