forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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