I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
