I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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