She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
If I die, sorry about rent.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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