Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We had to coat check the pizza.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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