She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Dignity is for republicans.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
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