Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
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