Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She bit a glass in half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize