you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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