If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
