I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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