Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
