i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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