And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
