Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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