party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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