then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
