I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
