some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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