i need an iv and a liver transplant
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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