we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize