About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
