Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
