I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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